How to be a mate
Every year one in four of us will experience a mental health problem.
We need to talk about it. It’s easier than you might think.
You don't need any special skills, you just need to be willing to do it. Here's what you can do if you think a friend is feeling crap:
- Ask: how's its going? Three words that can make a big difference.
- Keep in touch more: text or email if you can’t meet up.
- Doing stuff together is as good as a chat: let your mate see that you know he’s still the same person.
- Talk. Swap stories: don’t ignore the difficult stuff if it comes up - you don’t need to solve it, you just need ears.
- Keep it real: don’t make a big deal of how your mate is feeling but don’t make light of it either.
- Be there: ask if you can do anything.
More on helping a mate with mental health challenges:
It’s tough for men to ask for help but if you don’t ask when you need it, things generally only get worse. So we’re asking.
In the UK, one man in five dies before the age of 65. If we had health policies and services that better reflected the needs of the whole population, it might not be like that. But it is. Policies and services and indeed men have been like this for a long time and they don’t change overnight just because we want them to.
It’s true that the UK’s men don’t have it bad compared to some other groups. We’re not asking you to ‘feel sorry’ for men or put them first. We’re talking here about something more complicated, something that falls outside the traditional charity fund-raising model of ‘doing something for those less fortunate than ourselves’. That model raises money but it seldom changes much. We’re talking about changing the way we look at the world. There is nothing inevitable about premature male death. Services accessible to all, a population better informed. These would benefit everyone - rich and poor, young and old, male and female - and that’s what we’re campaigning for.
We’re not asking you to look at images of pity, we’re just asking you to look around at the society you live in, at the men you know and at the families with sons, fathers and grandads missing.
Here’s our fund-raising page - please chip in if you can.