Buy the Booklet
The Man Manual - men's health made easy (in print)
If you are having very black thoughts or considering killing yourself, talk to someone.
If, for whatever reason, you cannot talk to family or friends, there are several organisations who can help:
Both organisations are excellent. If you’ve come to the MHF website looking for help, these two organisations are the people to talk to. They’re totally confidential and private - you can talk about anything.
If you feel you can see your GP, do that. Other things you can do if you’re feeling suicidal are:
Suicidal feelings are a response to extreme stress so you need to remove yourself from the stressful situation. Do anything that reduces your feelings of anxiety. Go for a walk. Run. Read. Listen to music.
Do any of these.
If you’re are in pain and you want the pain to stop, killing yourself may feel like a way of ending it. You may feel it is the only solution you have or the only way you can take control of what feels like an impossible situation. But these are feelings. It important for us to recognise our feelings and these may be quite natural feelings in many cases - but they are only feelings. Try to separate feelings from facts. These are facts:
Look at the numbers. In 2012, 5,981 people killed themselves yet The Samaritans spoke to over 600,000 people who said they wanted to kill themselves. In other words, a lot of people consider suicide but far fewer do it and these numbers prove that talking to an organisation such as The Samaritans can make a difference. You have nothing to lose.
On the MHF website you’ll find information for you to use as you wish. Nowhere on the MHF website will you be told what’s best. Except here. If you’re feeling suicidal, it’s best to tell someone.
We don’t really know. But all of these things may increase how likely we are to think about suicide:
One or more of these can combine with a trigger event to send someone ‘over the edge’.
But look at the list. Not a single one can honestly be said to be your fault. We have no control over the illnesses we get or our genes or what happened to us when we were kids.
So, if you’re feeling like this, it’s not your fault. Tell someone.
The problem is that this reality is sometimes in conflict with our ideas of what a man should be. The traditional idea is that a man should be in control. But it’s impossible to be in control all the time.
It is estimated that a single edition of the New York Times contains more information than the average person in the seventeenth-century was likely to come across in a lifetime. And that estimate was 30 years ago. The world is changing. Today, you simply can’t know everything. If we, as men in the 21st century, are not in control enough to understand that, we’re going to be in trouble.
Most of us get it. If the toilet leaks, we don’t think it’s a sign of weakness or failure to call the plumber. But if you’re feeling like crap and you don’t know why, the same thing applies. There’s no shame in asking an expert. Your GP can point you in the right direction.
If you have financial problems or are in debt there is help available from, for example, Citizens Advice or the Money Advice Service.
If you’re feeling black, drink and drugs will not help. They may mask the feelings in the very short term but we all know that drink and drugs can make us more likely to do something we regret. Alcohol is actually a depressant so is likely to make you feel even lower.
It’s not just illegal drugs. Prescription anti-depressants may increase suicidal feelings when you first start so make sure somebody knows you’re taking them (and tell your GP immediately if you have such feelings).
It’s not easy to spot when someone is seriously considering suicide but signs can include:
If you spot a number of these in yourself, talk to someone. if you notice them in others, try to talk to them. Don’t judge them or try to suggest solutions, just offer a listening ear and try to encourage them to seek professional help though their GP.
We don't currently post comments online but are always keen to hear your feedback.
Date of last review 09/07/14
Date of next review 09/07/17